Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
