only if we run a train.
done.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize