I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
send nudes
from the living room?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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