Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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