i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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