Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Boobs are out for the taking
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
