; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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