He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
