No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
