I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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