Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
