Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
