if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
