i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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