We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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