do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
