it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
