is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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