He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You pole danced in your parka.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
