She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize