Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's rum buckets o'clock
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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