OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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