Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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