I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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