Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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