Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
