if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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