I want to stick my p in your. b.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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