the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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