Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
