Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Farmville is her only friend.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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