is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
