he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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