I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
