I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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