I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize