absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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