I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
