yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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