idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
