ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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