Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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