Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
