some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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