im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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