maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
