Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
