He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
