R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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