how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
