So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We got so high we made milksteak
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
