come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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