I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
