she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
