so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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