The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
