If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
