You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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