Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize