margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
