if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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