his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
