i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
