hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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